Hideyoshi lives and he's ready to kick North Korean butt

Hashiba Hideyoshi in rubber boots in front of his missile arsenal. (Photo from viceland.com)

Kim jong-il and North Korea may have nukes but Japan can rest easy, Hashiba Hideyoshi is alive and well and ready to kick some North Korean ass should they ever attack Japan. Yes, the great 16th century unifier of Japan, better known as Toyotomi Hideyoshi, is living in Aoyama and has built an arsenal of ballistic missiles ready to launch at the slightest provocation. The modern Hideyoshi has even created his own feudal domain called Odagawa where he has built a small castle and of course a hot spring hotel.

Apparently Mr. Hideyoshi realized who he really was when he was a young man and was told by a priest that he was the reincarnation of Toyotomi Hideyoshi. He didn't think too much of it until later from reading about the real Hideyoshi, he realized what an impressive general he was. Now Mr. Hideyoshi wears samurai armor ready for battle while holding an assault rifle. He doesn't mind that people may think he is completely mad, he's just the resident crazy man. Hideyoshi moved to Aoyama and established his Odagawa Domain where he decided to dig for a hot spring and establish a hotel. It wasn't until later after hearing about North Korea's Taepodong missiles that threatened japan, that Hashiba Hideyoshi decided to build his own missile arsenal.

According to Mr. Hideyoshi, he has seven Patriot missiles (that don't fly) and a nuclear armed 'interplanetary' ballistic missile and another missile that he calls the "Super Fighter Hashiba 7". The Hashiba 7 apparently works if it is loaded with liquid oxygen and alcohol, although I wouldn't want to be in the area when Mr. Hideyoshi fired it up. Hideyoshi has even bigger dreams. He next plans to build two Aegis class warships and an aircraft carrier, the Odagawa Domain navy.

He also has a tank armed with cannons and missiles but Hashiba states that they don't fire real ammunition. If he did fire them, he states, he would be prosecuted much more severely than just a simple weapons violation.

Hideyoshi in rubber boots in front of his castle. (Photo from viceland.com)

I learned of the modern Hashiba Hideyoshi through the Samurai Archives and an article on Mr. Hashiba Hideyoshi from viceland.com.

Samuel Hawley's "Imjin War"

The Shogun-ki blog has an excellent part one interview with Samuel Hawley, author of The Imjin War. The Imjin War is the story of the late 16th century Japanese samurai invasion of Korea from 1592 to 1598 initiated by the powerful Japanese warlord Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Hideyoshi was the great warlord who finally succeeded in unifying Japan under his rule after more than a century of civil war. Hideyoshi's stated goal of the Korean invasion was to eventually conquer Ming China. Hideyoshi's dream was never achieved as his samurai armies, after early successes that took them to the very border with China, eventually bogged down into brutal warfare on the Korean peninsula. The failure of Hideyoshi's invasion of Korea was partly due to the intervention of tens of thousands of Ming Chinese troops that crossed the Yalu River to confront the invaders just as they did over 350 years later against the Americans. Hawley's book is probably the best English language work on the 16th Century Japanese invasion of Korea.

Here is part two of the interview with Mr. Hawley.