Hashiba Hideyoshi in rubber boots in front of his missile arsenal. (Photo from viceland.com)
Kim jong-il and North Korea may have nukes but Japan can rest easy, Hashiba Hideyoshi is alive and well and ready to kick some North Korean ass should they ever attack Japan. Yes, the great 16th century unifier of Japan, better known as Toyotomi Hideyoshi, is living in Aoyama and has built an arsenal of ballistic missiles ready to launch at the slightest provocation. The modern Hideyoshi has even created his own feudal domain called Odagawa where he has built a small castle and of course a hot spring hotel.
Apparently Mr. Hideyoshi realized who he really was when he was a young man and was told by a priest that he was the reincarnation of Toyotomi Hideyoshi. He didn't think too much of it until later from reading about the real Hideyoshi, he realized what an impressive general he was. Now Mr. Hideyoshi wears samurai armor ready for battle while holding an assault rifle. He doesn't mind that people may think he is completely mad, he's just the resident crazy man. Hideyoshi moved to Aoyama and established his Odagawa Domain where he decided to dig for a hot spring and establish a hotel. It wasn't until later after hearing about North Korea's Taepodong missiles that threatened japan, that Hashiba Hideyoshi decided to build his own missile arsenal.
According to Mr. Hideyoshi, he has seven Patriot missiles (that don't fly) and a nuclear armed 'interplanetary' ballistic missile and another missile that he calls the "Super Fighter Hashiba 7". The Hashiba 7 apparently works if it is loaded with liquid oxygen and alcohol, although I wouldn't want to be in the area when Mr. Hideyoshi fired it up. Hideyoshi has even bigger dreams. He next plans to build two Aegis class warships and an aircraft carrier, the Odagawa Domain navy.
He also has a tank armed with cannons and missiles but Hashiba states that they don't fire real ammunition. If he did fire them, he states, he would be prosecuted much more severely than just a simple weapons violation.
Hideyoshi in rubber boots in front of his castle. (Photo from viceland.com)
I learned of the modern Hashiba Hideyoshi through the Samurai Archives and an article on Mr. Hashiba Hideyoshi from viceland.com.
Looks like he's ready to party like it's Sengoku Jieitai 1549! Rock on! Bonzai!!!
ReplyDeleteTHAT IS AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteYou can never underestimate the importance of a good pair of rubber boots. Just think of how beneficial they will be as you wade through the fallen corpses of your enemies....
Banzai! Banzai !! Banzai!!!
Interesting person!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Toyotomi Hideyoshi would be proud...
An interesting way to market yourself.
ReplyDeleteMuza-chan, no doubt in my mind that the real Hideyoshi would be proud. He would probably wish all of Japan was like this guy.
ReplyDeleteYes Tony, I think he was sane enough for that idea. :)
That's pretty f###ed up right there... I'd like to think only in Japan, but there's Hideyoshi's all over the place. Really, it's hard for people outside of Japan to understand the relationship between Japan and North Korea... and just how deep it goes. Both ways.
ReplyDeleteI agree adelaide regarding the complex relationship, not just with North Korea but with all of Korea. Koreans still have not gotten over the Japanese invasion of Korea. And I'm talking about the 1592 invasion, over 400 years ago.
ReplyDeleteGo crazy Hideyoshi!
ReplyDeleteI think the reincarnated gentleman has perfectly captured and recreated the personality of the original Hideyoshi. Even so, I do hope he stops short of re-invading Korea....
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think Hideyoshi was bit eccentric like this guy also.
ReplyDelete