Hilarious conversation with an email scammer

I am reposting this entry about email or internet scams because it is so funny and I cleaned it up slightly.

Below are the emails I exchanged with someone who said he was from Ghana. He claimed that if I helped him I would get a box of money. I played along and I never laughed so hard in my life. I unfortunately deleted the first few emails but all the rest are below.

Information on email Scams, Nigerian scams, or Advanced Fee scams can be found at these links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigeria_scam
ScamBusters.org
Scamorama.com

The emails below are EXACTLY how he and I typed them. I played like I was not very smart. I guess he was not very smart either. The scammer said his name was Franics Kwame (sic). I told him my name was Bob Jones at first.

THIS IS NOT MADE UP. These are real emails I had with the guy from Africa.

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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Requested Information
To: Bob Jones

My Brother,
Below is the information:

Mr Robert Anderson
Director, Intercon Insurance Security Co. Ltd.
Ring Road,Accra
GhanaTel:+233 242114821
Email Address: intercon_sec_com@freeghana.com

I will henceforth disassociate from responding to your emails if you dont contact the security company.

Lets move forward!!!!

Your's Sincerely,

Barrister Francis Kwame

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The scammer was already getting annoyed because I had been making excuses why I could not contact the security company.
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From: Bob Jones
Subject: Re: Requested Information
To: Franics Kwame

Thank you my black african brother. You know, in my country, we don't pronounce it "brother" when talking to black people. We say it like this, "bratha". What's up bratha?

I have a question, do I have to dial one before that number below? I have nevered called long distance before. I have never even left my hometown before for that matter so if I have to fly to Africa to meet the security agency, that will be scary.

Do I have to fly to Africa since that is where the security agency is located? Where exactly is Ghana located anyway? Is it near Portugal?

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If you don't already know, Portugal is in Europe next to Spain, not anywhere near Ghana, Africa.
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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Our Success Together
To: Bob Jones

My Brother,

Thanks for the compliments of calling me your brother.
As to calling from the USA, you have to dial +011 before adding 233 242114821.

If you don't get it, then find someone else who can truly assist you in dialing the number to ensure you call the security company.

For i and you to move forward,You MUST call the security company because they are in charge of delivery.
You dont need to fly to Africa.

Thank God because the world is globalised.We can make our business work successfuly through effective communication no matter where we are around the world.

Ghana is beautiful country,located at the western region of Africa. Potugal is south america and you know it,so how do you compare Ghana and portugal together.

I thought you said,you have flown to Africa before,how come you ask these questions??Dont make me doubt my trust for you....

So,Call the Security Company right now.

Get back to me immediately,

Thank you,

Barrister Francis Kwame

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The scammer obviously does not know his geography very well either. He thinks Portugal is in South America.
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From: Bob Jones
Subject: Re: Our Success Together
To: Franics Kwame

Thank you for your assistance. Although I am extremely rich, I do not know alot about foreign countries like Ghana and Portugal which you kindly informed me is in South Africa. I did not realize that Portugal was in South Africa like you said. I am very happy then that there is no more apartheid and discrimination in Portugal, South Africa. That was very bad.

So do I dial 1 and then 011 or 011 and then 1? I am very eager to provide my personal information to the security company in Portugal, South Africa.

Thank you once again my African Bratha. :)

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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Unhappy State.
To: Bob Jones

My Brother,It will unwise for you to contact me any further becasuse
i can see that you are not yeilding and adhering to the instructions attached to
this transaction.
I said Portugal is in South-America, you read it well and you
repeatedly say that Portugal is in South-Africa.
If you do not know how to call the security company,then forget me.

Have a good day,

Barrister Francis Kwame

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The scammer really is starting to get annoyed now. Usually the scammers stop responding by now, but not Francis, I mean Franics.
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From: Bob Jones
Subject: Re: Unhappy State
To: Franics Kwame

I appreciate your assistance. My apologies. I thought you said the security
company was in Portugal, South Africa. I am sorry that I am not
knowledgeable in geography. Please forgive me. I will immediately contact
the security company. I will have my mother help me call since I do not
understand the number dialing for foreign numbers. As I said, I will
immediately call the security company in Ghana, South America. After I call
them, do I call you?

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I know. Ghana is in Africa, not South America.
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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Best Option
To: Bob Jones

My Brother,
Just call the Security Company
If you cannot call them,then it is over between us.

Thank you,

Barrister Franics Kwame

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From: Bob Jones
Subject: Re: Best Option
To: Franics Kwame

I will call them immediately. May I please request a toll free number however. I am sure the long distance rates must be very expensive to Ghana, South Africa. My mother is very controlling of how I use my millions of dollars even though I am 35 years old. Please provide me a toll free number and I will call the security company immdiately.

I will immediately purchase a plane ticket to Ghana, South America and I will fly there as soon as I call the security company to arrange my picking up the box of money in Ghana, South America.

Please let me know if this is ok.

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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: My Decision
To: Bob Jones

My Brother,
If you want us to continue and complete this transaction,you (MUST)
send me your International Passport as Identification.
Unable to achieve this,PLS DO NOT CONTACT ME ANYMORE>
I will only respond to your email when I see your passport.

Thank you and God Bless,

Barrister Francis Kwame

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He's really getting annoyed.
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From: Bob Jones
Subject: Re: My Decision
To: Franics Kwame

I do not have a passport yet. I am in the process of getting it so I can travel to Ghana, South Africa. But you know how government is. It takes a while. I should have it in a few weeks. I will transmit my birth certificate to you shortly.But can you please give me a toll free number to contact the security company in Ghana, South America.

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I immediately sent him another message using a new name with a picture of a passport I found on the internet.
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From: Will Smith
Subject: Re: My Decision
To: Franics Kwame

Attached is my Passport as you requested. I tried calling the number of the security company in Ghana, South America but I was not able to get through. They said I have the wrong number. It's interesting though that they did not speak Portugeuese. I thought you said they speak Portugeuese. Can you send me the number again or maybe you can send me the security comapny's email address. Thank you again my black african brother (bratha).

(Below is the Passport picture I sent Francis. Sorry Fresh Prince).




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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Lets move forward
To: Will Smith

My Brother,
Thanks for your response.
I thought you said your name is Bob Jones and claimed to be 35 years old.
How come you sent me a pics of Will Smith,who doesnt even happened
to be 35years??
I need you to attest and confirm to that.
Now,before i can continue this transaction with you.
Tw things must be done,failure to do so,will make you to be a liar about your
identity.

1.Send me your scanned copy of Your International Passport.
2.The security company number is (+233 242114821)
There is nothing absolutely wrong with that number.
The ball is now in your court to make this transaction a success.

For you to be sure of my identity,i will send you my International Passport for confirmation.
Get back to me as soon as possible.

Thank you,

Barrister Francis Kwame

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Francis then sent me another email with his Passport attached. Isn't that nice of him?
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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: My Passport
To: Will Smith

Below is the copy of my International Passport for your view.Until i recieve a copy of your passport,i will discontinue from corresponding with you anymore.The ball is now in your court to send me your Identification Passport.If you don't have any Passport,then send me any other form of id.

Call the Security Company.

Thank you,

Barrister Francis Kwame





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I guess his name really is Francis. I should be more trusting. I changed my name again in the next email. Can you guess who this famous person is?
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From: Captain James T. Kirk
Subject: Re: My Passport
To: Franics Kwame

My apologies my Black African Brother. I accidently sent you my cousin's passport. He left it at my house and I did not look at the picture. I have attached my passport to this email.

Your passport picture is very nice. You are a very handsome man. I did not realize that you lived in Ghana, South Africa also. Is Ghana a nice city? Is it close to Johannesburg?

The number for the security company you just gave me is not the same. How am I supposed to contact them if you give me the wrong number.Do you also need my bank account information in order to make deposits? I can also send you my birth certificate if you need that.

(Below is the next passport I sent Francis. This is for all you Trekie fans out there.)





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Now Francis really starts getting pissed.
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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Lets Move Forward
To: Captain Kirk

Pls,cut the crap and stop sending passports belonging to different people.
I know you to be Bob Jones.
Changing names will do you no good.

Can we move forward on this transaction?

Call the security company.(+233) 242114821.

Thank you,

Barrister Francis Kwame

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Again I changed my name below.
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From: Zhao Xiulian
Subject: Re: Lets move forward
To: Franics Kwame

I apoligize again. I accidently sent you my uncles Passport. My uncle is a Captain in Starfleet Command and he is currently on leave and visiting me. I am very sorry. I have attached my passport and I verified that it is mine so there won't be anymore confusion. My real name is Zhao Xiulian. I wanted to be sure I could trust you before I gave you my real name. That is why I told you my name was Bob Jones. Please forgive me.





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Now I think Francis is really losing it. I think I am driving him crazy. This is his funniest email of them all.
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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Thanks so much
To: Zhao Xiulian

My Brother,
I beg you with the name of God.
Pls do not contact me anymore.
I am not in for this games you are playing by sending passports of differents people.
Have a nice day and keep winning.

Kisses,

Richard

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Kisses?

You notice he signed his name Richard. What happened to Francis?

I pretty much lost his trust with this next email and the picture I attached but oh well. I don't think he could take much more anyways.

Can you guess who the picture is?
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From: Zhao Xiulian
Subject: Re: Thanks so much
To: Franics Kwame

I thought your name was Francis. Who is Richard? Are you being dishonest with me? After all this time and our special relationship. All I want to do is get my money and I am trying to follow your instructions. I told you I mistakenly sent you my cousin Will Smith's passport and my uncle Captain Kirk's passport. It was a mistake. My name really is what I told you in my last email. After you sent me your passport I felt comfortable I could believe you so I sent my passport.

Please my very dark black African brother, you must believe me. I will send you further information if you request it.

Attached is a picture of myself so you have a better idea of who I am.





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Yes, That's right. That's Mr. Junichiro Koizumi, the former Prime Minister of Japan. I hope I didn't cause an international incident.
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From: Franics Kwame
Subject: Re; Thanks so much
To: Zhao Xuilian

Have a nice day.

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And that was the last I heard from Francis. I miss him very much.